future-perfect

I have been so hungry for a taste different to bile that I ate mouth spray!! Today I got exciting news... Oooh I'm getting clear soup jelly and ice cream for dinner tonight providing my tea stays down! They are all waiting for my bowel - I feel it. Nice young doc just came by and said sometimes eating triggers off peristalsis and that we shouldn't worry. That was 10 mins after brendan came by and said "anything?" I said no, he said "well we will wait" and off he went. My bowel has stage anxiety!

Anyway I had a few spoons of ice cream, two spoons of foul pea soup, few sips tea. Didn't have the jelly and soup was too similar to bile! Anyway my stomach & colon or some internal area is gurgling away quite so have bit more time to wait.

Just nodded off and woke myself up laughing. In my dream I had fallen off my chair and reached for my mouse and my naked bum was in the air. I was pointing at it with the mouse to say I would need to fart any moment but the cats just watched:)

YESSSSSSSSSSS! I cannot believe I am pleased about this but the first piece of good news for  a month is that I will be having the MOAS January 4th 2011! YES!

An auspicious day as thats my friend Jemimas birthday; other little sign of something mysterious and good at work is that my surgeon Brendan Moran is Irish.   Having had an Irish  mum with a malignant brain tumour that could not be entirely removed it seems appropriate to me that now a lovely gentle Irishman should remove this tumour and all its jelly and save my life. He has been the first consultant to be a proper person...asking what did we think of Widdi in Strictly? For the record its time for her to go. We've had Pepto Abismol followed by Custard and the jokes not funny any more. Pamela to win if you were wondering!!

Back to Brendan....he called me by my name (thank you), he showed me images of all the scans. Hundreds of pictures of the inside. It was fascinating then I remembered it was me and it was a bit weird; then even more fascinating!!. So vain sometimes.  I could see the mucous on the liver but basically the liver is healthy, the gall bladder was normal, the kidneys were normal, my heart I thought looked a bit small (which cant be the case surely??) but he said it looked perfectly normal. The spleen I was told would have to go...the mucous presses into it and casues scalloping. There is scalloping on the liver but they will strip the surface of it to remove mucous. I read somewhere recently that liver cells regenerate in 6 weeks....it must be one of your top organs and not to be underestimated.

To summarise they plan to do the following: hysterectomy, splenectomy, appendectomy, omentectomy, pelvic peritonectomy, stripping of the diaphragm and liver. Phew! Thats a lot of ectomys. Average operating time is 10 hrs followed by some days in Intensive Case followed by time on a ward - average hospital stay is 3 weeks. i spoke to someone who was out in two and thats what Im going to aim for. Im taking  a pilates band to tie to the bed and at least do some arm exercises - back to the origins of pilates no less!

Although Pseudo cases are one in a million 4% of these rare people get it on their lung and that includes me. I keep being in the small statistic, soon there will be a stat of one and it will be me only! I was never a group person and always preferred a 121 situation socially but this is getting ridiculous. For now the lung can wait. They have operated on two lung cases this year and those people are doing fine. However they might take  a wait and see approach. Pseudo is usually slow moving  although mine seems to be more agressive but for now it has to be one step at a time.

What I feel is that I am in the safest hands finally. I trust that Brendan and his team will be doing his utmost to remove all of it and I trust that my body will have the strength and ability to recover. There is a risk of death as with all surgery but I die if I dont.

So I say to that tumour, you might be the last cry of help from the body but youre about to be cut out, discarded and made redundant and you cannot survive without me. I say to the cancer cells and the disease, bring it on! Youre about to be stripped and boiled in hot chemo and if you continue to lurk in  microscopic  corners after Brendans attack I will  starve you of the things you thrive on. There will be no sugar, I will flood my cells with oxygen, my neurotransmitters will be sending positive messages at a cellular level, my Natural Killers will kick in and my body will be such a hostile environment that you will commit suicide. Cancer is nothing if not lazy; it doesnt even discriminate on who and its chosen the wrong body this time.

I finally have an appointment with the specialist team in a specialist facility in....wait for it.....Basingstoke! Huh? Yep this cancer is so rare (literally one in a million) that it is only treated in 2 uk centres. The important bit is that I will finally meet the experts and may even have  a treatment plan soon!